


The Tavern

by Ndddd97



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Mortal Kombat (Video Games), One Piece, Samurai Jack (Cartoon)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24304924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ndddd97/pseuds/Ndddd97
Summary: Felix and Annette wandered into a tavern and problem ensued.
Kudos: 3
Collections: Those Who Drabble in the Dark





	The Tavern

**Author's Note:**

> Writing for a Felannie Drabble Challenge originally for Annette Week, with the challenge of a crack drabble with Annette in it.
> 
> So enjoy this weird creation of mine??

“Felix!!! We need a place to avoid the snowstorm!!” Annette shouted out as she held her arms covering herself from the fierce cold wind blowing at her and the man next to her.

“I know that already!! I’m looking for it!!” The man replied as he too covering himself from the sudden snowstorm. The two was making my their way to Annette’s home to pick up something for her when a snowstorm suddenly arrived without warning. The two walked slowly through the thick layer of snow that had been built up from the snowstorm, being staggered by the strong cold winds. The two continued to walk through the heavy snowstorm for while in an empty white space, their vision obscured by murky white blanket. They kept on for several hours until Annette spotted a wooden house in the middle of a snowstorm.

“There’s a house right there, Felix!!” She shouted out loud and pointed at the wooden house with one hand covering her from the snowstorm as Felix turned to look at the house, standing seemingly alone in the snowstorm.

“Let’s go there!!!” Without doubting the existence of the house, the two quickly made their way to the wooden house amidst the snowstorm and heavy snowy path they were walking on. After excruciating hours of walking later, they eventually arrived at the front door of the house shivering from the snowstorm.

“W-We f-finally m-made i-it!” Annette stuttered from the cold as she rubbed herself with her two arms to get warm, while Felix stood there brushing off the snow of his clothes and the snow of Annette’s clothes. Afterwards, he inspected the front exterior of the house and then opened the door slightly, enough for him to peek inside the room. Through the small slit, Felix saw people inside with furniture inside such as tables and chairs and decorative pieces hanging on the wall such as paintings, a deer head and more. There, he also spotted a bar top with an bartender serving drinks and food to the patrons inside. This observation told him that this wooden house they found, turned out to be a tavern with patrons inside drinking.

“Looks like we stumble upon a tavern” He spoke up and turned to look at Annette who was still shivering from the cold and had a quite few sneezes here and there.

“B-But what’s a tavern like this doing here in middle of a snow-” A sneeze suddenly came up interrupting her sentence as she snorted and rubbed her nose feeling the cold got to her.

“I don’t know and have no idea why” He took another peek inside and scanned the inside some more until he spotted a fireplace there near the bar top, perfect for the two to have the reason to go inside.

"There's a fireplace inside. If we are lucky, they will have a room for us to stay too” As he was about to push open the door, Annette suddenly stopped him by grabbing onto one of his arms.

“Why did you stop me?” He asked wondering why she stopped him from opening the door and turned to look at her as Annette gave him a glaring look while still shivering from the cold.

“Promise me that you won’t get into any fight” She requested with a serious albeit silly look from the shivering as she knew full well about Felix’s tendency to get into a random fight, especially tavern fight for unknown reason. Felix looked at her for a bit, questioning her request, but he let out a sigh and accepted her request as he pushed the door open letting the two in. 

The sound of the door opening and cold breeze entering the room attracted the attention of the patrons inside as they looked to see the couple stood by the entrance. Felix was unfazed by the staring from the patrons as he closed the door behind him and walked up to the bar top. As Felix walked through the tavern with some eyes gazing at him, Annette stayed close to him and hid behind his cape, taking a peek here and there before hiding again to avoid any eye contact.

“Why don’t you just walk normaly?” Felix ridiculed her in whispering manner after as Annette peeked out slightly of his cape trembling im fear.

“I-I’m scared alright!! L-Look these men and their weapon!!” She said trembling and hid again as Felix noted her warning and glanced at the patrons to see them armed with sword primarily. Different swords he spotted based on their sheaths or the swords themselves, many he couldn’t identify. As Felix kept watch of the patrons for any sign of them being too trigger-happy with his hand hovering over the hilt of his sword, they eventually reached the bar top with the bartender standing behind and greeting them.

“How I can serve you two today?” He asked in friendly tone as Annette quickly got out of her hiding and sat onto the chair breathing out heavily after holding her breath out of fear for so long. Felix watched awkwardly at the woman before turning his attention to the innkeeper.

“Give me and this lady here a room to stay. And get us food and drink” He ordered sitting on the chair as the bartender gave him a knowing bow.

“I will ask the innkeeper and prepare a room for two of you. Meanwhile, why not wait and socialize with patrons” He said and went to the room just behind the bar top, which Felix presumed to be the kitchen.

“You can relax now. I will keep watch on the people behind us” He reassured and looked behind his back in case any of them decided to jump on them from behind, as Annette was still being worried and scared by the sword-wielding patrons behind her. She took a glance behind her to see if any of them were still staring at them, or her in this case. Luckily everyone was back to their business except for one man sitting near the fireplace, wearing gold and black armor with black hood and gold face plate leaving his eyes exposed as the person stared back at her. Annette startled by the man’s stare and quickly turned back as her body trembling with fear and anxiety feeling the man’s eyes on her back. 

Annette then looked to her right to see Felix watching their back and a tall short green-haired man wearing a green robe. She leaned forward a little to get a better look and flinched from seeing the scar on his exposed chest and the one over his closed left eye, and as she looked down, she got more and more anxious and afraid upon seeing him carrying not one but three swords by his waist. The green-haired figure turned his head slightly to look at her with his right eye as Annette felt the intimidating and scary aura he gave off, and immediately sat back onto her seat. She sat still on her seat trembling with fear as she turned her head slightly to see the green-haired not looking at her again. Fortunately for her but annoying for her since Felix was busy watching their back with his hand still hovering over his sword. Nonetheless, she let out a small sigh still trembling but slowly calming down-

"You look worried there-" A voice startling her as she let out a small yelp and slightly jumped from her seat with her flailing up in the air. She turned to look at the person speaking, wearing a frightened face, as he was looking at her with a worried look and holding a some sort of ceramic cup with steam coming out of the top.

"Please, I didn't mean to scare or harm you" The black-haired man, with a small ponytail wearing a white robe tried to calm her down after seeing how frightened the orange-haired woman was, though Annette still felt frightened.

"How about a cup of tea then?" He put down his cup and offered her as he showed her the ceramic tea set he had on the bar top.

“Y-Y-Yes, a cup of tea would be nice” The stranger let out a smile at her as he began to pour the tea from the ceramic pot into another tall tea cup and then handed to her politely. Annette slowly lowered her arms down and properly seated as she grabbed the tea cup and held it like the stranger did. The aroma entered her nose as she felt relax and calm down from the soothing aroma of the tea that she would familiarize herself with. She watched the stranger sipped his tea as she sipped her own tasting the bittersweet of the steamed tea, but it nonetheless calmed her and eased her off the worry and fear from earlier.

“Thank you for the tea, kind stranger” She thanked him and drank the tea as the stranger smiled at her and drank his tea, at which the innkeeper dropped a plate of cherry and two metal mugs to the couple.

“Here are your food and drink. Please enjoy your meal” The bartender said before putting down a similar plate of cherry pie and a metal mug to green-haired man as he turned around to work on the drink. The couple turned towards to the plate of cherry pie as Annette took a slice of the pie and readied to eat it when she noticed Felix staring at the pie.

“You don’t like eating pie?” Annette asked with worried and surprised when she noticed his grumpy look towards the pie.

“Of course not, it’s just weird to me that he served pie instead” He explained and took a slice of pie as well as both of them munched on the slices. Annette let out a delightful sound enjoying the slice of cherry pie while Felix chewed it thoroughly and slowly before realizing how… delicious it was. 

"Oh, Mr. Bartender-" As Annette was about to call him and compliment the cherry pie, Felix and the green-haired man suddenly slammed their hands onto the bar top loudly causing the dishes and the mugs to rattle and startling Annette.

"HEY BARTENDER!!!" The two screamed out attracting the bartender's attention as he almost dropped the mug upon being called suddenly.

"This pie is so DELICIOUS that I could die!"

"This pie is so DISGUSTING that I could die!"

The two men shifted their eyes at each other upon hearing their contrasting opinion their opinion. The two glared intensely at each other with their mouthful of pie as they reached over their mug and drank the content. They each let out different reaction after drinking the mug with Felix let out a disgusted sigh and the man next to him exhaled in delight.

"This drink is especially NASTY too!"

"This drink is especially TASTY too!"

The difference in their opinion got them to glare again as they shifted their eyes once more at each other.

"You got something wrong with your taste, idiot?" The green-haired man insulted him as Felix turned to glare at him.

"And you got something wrong with your head?" He barked back as both locked their eyes and glared at each other causing the bartender to panic and Annette to be dumbfounded by the whole exchange.

"P-Please no fighting in the bar!! W-We have other customers in the bar too" The bartender warned the two in worried tone as they continued to glare at each other.

"Felix, you promised, didn't you?" Annette warned Felix as he turned his head slightly to look at her before letting out a sigh and turned to look at the frightened bartender.

"Prepare for us 50 of those cherry pies by the morning" Felix requested to the bartender but not before the man one-upped him.

"Get me 51 bottles of the drink you have" Feeling agitated from before and challenged by him, Felix decided to play along with him and one-up him.

“Actually, make that 52 cherry pies” The green-haired man noticed this as well and so played along with their little game.

“Wait, 53 bottles would be enough” 

“54 pies”

“55 bottles” 

“60!”

“80!”

“100!” As the two tried to one-up each other, Annette watched in annoyance at the sight of Felix arguing with the random man and the bartender kept looking back and forth between the two. Eventually, and unfortunately I may say, the two drew their blade and clashed them again each other after the intense game they were having.

“DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT THAT BADLY?!!!” The two screamed at each other after locking blades with each other which caused Annette to be agitated.

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GETTING INTO RANDOM FIGHT, FELIX!?!!?” She ridiculed him for breaking the promise earlier as the two swordsmen continued to lock blade and intensely glared at each other. Meanwhile, the white-robed man, after watching the argument unfolded before him, turned behind him and spoke to the three.

“I think you may draw their attention as well” The three noticed the man’s voice and turned to see other patrons of the tavern stood up with their blade in hand, readying to attack on a moment’s notice. Annette startled by the crowd and shrunk back into her seat while the two men turned to look at each other before introducing themselves.

“Name’s Felix”

“Zoro. A spar after this?” Felix nodded as the two unlocked their blade and turned to the large crowd before them as the white-robed man sighed and stood up from his seat drawing his blade out as well. This in turn caused Annette ti frantically

"W-Wait?! Y-You three don't intend to-" The three charged ahead at the crowd as they and them clashed against each other resulting in a massive sword fight with every sword-wielding patrons joined in the fight. As sound of steel-against-steel, things cut in half, furniture got thrown around, and glass breaking reverberated throughout the tavern, Annette watched in disbelief and became speechless chaos before her, but eventually snapped out when she watched Felix taking on four swordsmen at once.

"YOU BETTER GET OVER HERE, FELIX!!! I WILL TEACH YOU A VERY PAINFUL LESSON IN-"

"GET OVER HERE!!!" The armored hooded man shouted out loud and pushed off a swordsman as he threw a chain-liked weapon with a pointed tip at the end at Felix. Felix spotted the attack and pushed off the four swordsmen with much effort as he quickly dodged aiming at him. Unfortunately for Annette, the chain was aiming at her now as she yelped and barely ducked the chain, which struck the cupboard behind him. With great strength, the man yanked the cupboard off the wall and pulled it toward in attempt to hit Felix from behind but only for him to slice it down with fast reflex. 

Annette, meanwhile, stood up and frantically searched for help to put a stop the chaotic brawl before realizing that the bartender was the only one to help. She turned to face the bar top and searched for the bartender to find him cowering in fetal position sucking his thumb under the bar top.

"AREN'T YOU THE SUPPOSED OWNER OF THIS TAVERN?!?!" She screamed out and ridiculed him for apparently hiding instead of taking care of the chaotic mess.

"T-The innkeeper and the chef are the only one to keep the chaos in control. B-But with two of them gone, I-I don't know what to do but to cower in fear" The bartender spoke with such pitiful and fearful tone that he went back to sucking his thumb causing Annette to feel very furious about the whole situation.

"Fine! I will handle the situation myself!" She took off her coat and tossed it over the bar top revealing her robe as she got into her battle stance with magic sigil surrounding her wrists, readying to put a stop in this chaotic sword fight.

《----TO BE CONTINUED----|

  
  



End file.
